Hmm...today is my birthday but i just don't feel happy at all....
haha i guess i'm writing now to keep myself busy instead of thinking...
lol...anyway i will keep this short..
i got to wake up at 4 later so i guess i will go to sleep now..
nites..


^Love N Respect^

pythoncena

Yo...sorry that it took so long for me to update my blog....
I'm just so addicted to thai lakorns that i don't have time to do anything else...
So i decided to take fifteen minutes of my sleeping time to write this...
Yeah so this is the fasting month for me...
Today is just the 6 day of fasting and there is still a long way to go....
LOL...But i will be patience and strong... =)
Ok ...i got to go now....peace you all =)


^Love N Respect^

pythoncena

=)
haha....
I'm getting irritated these days..
I hate breaking promises becoz i will feel quilty towards the other party...
but becoz of a certain person, i keep breaking my promises just becoz she is selfish..
i feel as if people thinks i like nagging after i read my own blog..
i really wish i can keep my promises...i really feel sorry..
What more excuses can i give? They may say its ok but deep down they must feel really disappointed..
If i was braver i would have done everything on my own without having to depend on others..
I don't know what more i can say so to that person, i'm really sorry...hope you can trust me, its not my fault..
anyway..gtg
Everyone remember to stay good!!
=)

^Love N Respect^

pythoncena

sorry guys for not writing for so long...
my computer broke down..
haha..so im guessing you guys are curious about wats happening in my life right?
lol...basically its juat the same story..
maybe less dramatic???
haha..anyway hope you guys out there are fine...
ok den i got to catch up with many things that i have missed when my computer went berserk so , so long for now everyone..
remember to smile always :) it helps..
the good people will always win at the end of the world..<3
that is wat i got to know recently...

^Love N Respect^

pythoncena

Wow...i seriously have the worst family in the world man..
I know that I'm not one of your favorite but showing that right in my face hurts me very much...sometimes i do forgive and forget but you just make me want to disappear from the face of this earth...If you want to know how i realised I'm not your favorite? I can give you tons of reasons...
When the others do something wrong or anything they want, the most you would do is keep quiet but if it was me, you would scold me as if i have make the biggest mistake in my life and you keep giving me excuses when i make my decision...
I don't need anything from you...please just respect my decision and don't be too obvious in showing favors...I'm not trying to hurt you in any way even though you are hurting me...I just think that i can't hold it in anymore if you keep doing all that hurtful things to me...maybe you think that i just don't express myself so i don't care but its my respect for you that makes me show only my happy face to you...I'm fine with being the outcast in this family but just don't keep hurting me as if I'm a human without any feelings...
I have always ask myself should i continue being the nice one or should i just be myself ??

^Love N Respect^

pythoncena

Wass up everyone??
haha...life do get complicated right?
Even i myself don't know who is right and who is wrong...
U know i think that life is a roller coaster ride which i hate to have a ride in..
Having your ups and down, felling scared, helpless and only holding on to your safety belt tightly hoping it will end soon....
People do say hurtful words when you are angry and i understand that..
U do feel hurt by that hurtful words and i understand that...
But the question is what you should have done to prevent all that from happening..
Me being stuck in the middle trying to solve everything sucks man..
I'm trying to make everything work out for everyone but u guys just saw your pain and not mine..
Because of some small misunderstanding you said you rather live with someone else rather than the person that sacrifice every happiness they have to keep you smiling. How naive can you be?
If you think you are right than prove it not run away from it..that is the actions of what a coward would do..and i thought you are a gangster..
If you think you are living a sad life than you are wrong...If you were to compare your life and mine, mine will be the saddest life any human can ever imagine..
Having to keep a straight and happy face when i get angry or sad, having to pretend that i am living in a happy family, having to help people when i just feel like shouting at them....try living that kind of life and i can bet with you that you would have give up long ago...now you live you life being yourself while i live my life being someone else so as not to trouble others...
comparing you life and mine, you are considered lucky...
hmm...whatever lah..i give up playing the nice one here...
just do whatever you guys want...i will still be the nice person but of course not to u guys...

^Love N Respect^

pythoncena

lol..
so i'm writing becoz someone asked me too..
haha :)
i'm feeling bored becoz i got notin to do even though it is a holiday month..
i want to do something fun...
any ideas?
hmm....
if it were you guys, will you choose jaywalkers or jayeffect?
lol..just curious..
i prefer jaywalkers but it is not winning:(
haha...gtg..bye!!! :)

^Love N Respect^

pythoncena

yosh!!
lol..
sometimes i wonder don't people really understand the phrase
"Actions speak louder than words?"
I guess some really don't..
I have experience that many times in my life
so i really wonder..
Are human hearts made of stone?
becoz sometimes we tend to do things that make us heartless
but sometimes we do things that make us look like the perfect human in the world..
Does it takes something bad to happen to our life b4 we are willing to walk in the correct path?
well i'm not saying i'm perfect in anyway but i know that even if i'm the worse human there is in this planet, i won't hurt those who work hard to brought me up.
Those are the people that make you see the world as it is today..
They may not love you but they do let you live..
So is it really hard to walk on the correct path in life thinking about god n your love ones?
I may nt be walking on that path but for sure i always remember my love ones..
Basically speaking, i hate those people that are walking the wrong path but also not thinking about your love ones....
The least you can do when you know you are useless is not to trouble them or hurt them...they must have gone through hell to raise you...
All i know is in my life i do know two such persons...
Well i can just hope you will walk the correct path becoz you guys have been given way too much chances to change...more than me precisely...
So make the right choice, you might not be so lucky the nxt time you are caught..

^Love N Respect^

pythoncena

:)
yeah its me again....
there's so many thing happening to me lately
so i don't have the time to write..
i will talk about it later..
ferst up, in half an hour time its Mother's Day
so here i am wishing all mothers in the world a Happy mother's day!!
especially my dearest mum! :)
you have been suffering so much lately
but for tomorrow, enjoy your day..
even if its only for awhile...
hmm...i may not be able to make you happy
but just to let you know, i will always love you..
if you feel hurt becoz the rest of your children still won't change,
just know that i will always be there if you need me...
i may not be the perfect child but i would never ever want to hurt you in anyway..
you may want this wishes coming from my elder sis or my younger bro
so just tink that this is really coming from them ok?
Happy Mother's Day!!
hmm...
if my sis and bro are reading this, i just want to tell you guys,
the happiness being with your family is different than being with your friend...
to tink that i have to say this to a19 years old female and 16 years male is stupid..
you may tink you guys can continue living with your 'friends' but when they had enough of you, you will be coming back home.
The home that you threw away to be wild..
A friend will never ask you not to come back or watever it it, they will want you to be your best so, choose your friend wisely...
I'm just wondering, can't you really be good for 1 day for your mum on this special day?
hmm...to tink that i can tink more maturely than a 19 years old is funny..
you know very well our mum can only rely on you whether academically or knwledge...
but you chose to abandon the only hope she have...
i told you earlier that i am willing to sacrifice anything for our mum to keep smiling...
i'm wondering if i'm gone, will you guys mend your ways?
if it is true than i will gladly sacrifice myself..
losing me won't cause our mum anything you know...
i'm not good at studying nor anything...
i won't be able to help her in future..
although i'm only 17, i don't care becoz i have never find my life to be useful to anyone...i only brings trouble to them..
you guys have way better chances in life than me so don't waste it...
hmm...from the bottom of my heart i really love you guys but i know it will only be too cheezy to tell that to the both of you..
i'm not asking you guys to change for me but do it for our mum..
i hate seeing this family breaking up...

^Love N Respect^

pythoncena

:)
lol..
i guess i'm creating another blog for my pain maybe??
haha..anyway don't get offended about anything in my blog k..
it will only concerns me and my family..
i'm writing all of this not to gain your sympathy..
but just so that i don't bottle up my feelings..
it may lead to something bad..
hmm...i'm not brave enough to voice out my thoughts
so i guess this is the only way.. :(
so don't hate me..
bear with me until i have the courage to face all the problems k..
thanks in advance.. :)

^Love N Respect^

pythoncena